Weblog
Sunday, 22 June 2008
-
Currently Listening
Trey Day
By Trey Songz
see relatedSad.Stressed.Unhappy.
Why
So i finally find a nigga thats worth my wild. In which i care about allot. Now look at him..GONE! i feel so fucked up rite now. I feel like i was the bad guy when i was not. Somebdy please tell me why i feel this way! Hmm..IS it this thing callled love that ive been hearing about faithfully. Well Lovee dont live here anymore.
IT all starts Last saturday. We want out as always hadd a greaat time. Want and walked on the river, kissed a little enjoyed each others company. I do shit that i did not dream of doing. This time i actually hugged him i public! im not a fem person. But this dude was breaking the boundaries of me down. WTF was i thinking. (LOVE) so with that date gone the whole week of anticpation is here with me so now its Friday nite. All i can think of is i get to see my baby, boo, amor tomorrow. We get on the phone and then its a argument inwhich he starts. this arugment left me so speechless. It left him very mad. The argument was over me being so secrective. He wants to know where i live or where i work which i understand is not so hard. But he made a really big scene and get a attitue over it. So now im broken heart bad. Im sending Text messages all day. Callin. So to relieve the stress i want downtown to he festive(river days) with some other friends. I get out the car and walk a block and who do i see. My nigga walkin,smiling, with another nigga. I instently got madd. What do you do in a situation like this? Stay Ice cold...Dont let it stress you. So i just kept on walking smilingg and not paying no mind to him. Nnow mind you i love this nigga with all my heart i just cant stand to admit it to him.
So as the day progess i gget very mad and sad becase i dont know what to do with myself. But he insently sent me a text saying that was not a date but his friend..Do i believe him? he is my heart. idk what to do . So as the nite progess i think we made up while textin like crazy back and fourth to each other.
But i still feel so ashamed.single.unattractive.confusesd.sad.mad.confused.
FUCK!
Friday, 13 June 2008
-
FaithFAITH...Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of Passage? His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone. He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.
He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each lad must come into manhood on his own. The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!
Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm. We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, God is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him. If you liked this story, pass it on. If not, you took off your blindfold before dawn.
Moral of the story: Just because you can't see God, doesn't mean He is not there. 'For we walk by faith, not by sight.'
God Bless.
Thursday, 12 June 2008
-
Currently Listening
Here I Stand
By Usher
Here I Stand
see relatedConfused Once again...
Hello xanga!
Welcome Back!
Im back!!! It's been awhile since i last posted on here but i have a couple of things to get off my chest. It's been about 6 months since i wrote on here, and i have to say i already feel so much better. Just something about writing your feelings on a piece of canvas. You (the reader) knows how much of stress relieve is.
Ask About me
In Case you forgot The name is J. I am a bisesxual male that lives in the Surburb town of rochester hills in Michigan. I am 22 years old. Typical DL college graduate. Im single
. And really lonely. Hopefully Love...
Ok Xanga its been a long while since i actually had someone to call my own. I cant live ive been on a couple of dates that have been worth my time . I've had my sexual encounters..lol. But i really want a person to call my own, My Navio., My Amor, My number one..
With that being said i have to open up for this guy i met about a year ago. We lost contact for a couple of months. Due to some circumstances inwhich i had little to no control over. Before we broke up we where like peas and carrots..lol. We would go every nite and walk and enjoy each others company. Sometimes we want to get stuff to eat. IT was extra specail because he was one of the coouple of people i have met that does not want just sex. Instead he wants me. I can trly sasy that.
Hes pretty attractive about 6'2, dark skin., funny, nice smile. The typical male. But one thing HES OUT! some things about him being out i dont like but im gettting used to it. What do i do? do i just overlook it? So far since we start talking again weve been on 2 dates One to Wolfgang puck in MGM, and we went out to the riverwalk today and walked and tallked, watched the sun go down. Was quite romantic. I can see that i have big feelings for him.
When im with him i feel so secure. Maybe after a year of thinking about him, walking, talkin, i can say im starting to fall in love with him. I know i want him to be my heart but im so scared of asking something like that. I just want everything to be right, but as i think the things cant get any righter.
What do you think i should do?
I have anther date with him on saturday..ill be sure to log on and telll you guys about it.
Good nite,
J
Tuesday, 31 July 2007
-
Currently Listening
The Ultimate Luther Vandross
By Luther Vandross
see relatedMy First Post
Hello Everyone :)
This is my first post...
A LITTLE ABOUT ME!
im 20 i live in West bloomfield michigan. I am Bi. i really dont have anything else to say. I dont have many friends the ones that i do have they have been around for quite a while. My life is changing so much right now i dont even know what to do or where to start. My love life is horrible i have not been in a relationship in 3 years. Im not ugly or anything just have not found that right person yet. Everyone in the detroit sems to be about one thing SEX! and i am not that type of person. Jus want someone i can be myself around. Im not one of those queens that you see on the TV. I am a athletic, Str 8 acting male.
HOW I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW
a friend wrote this but this is really how i a feel right mow.
in the last 5 years of my life i have experienced so much change that in most cases ....some couldnt handle.....most of the change that occured as far as my friends and people that came and went in my life was for the better...i found people "bestfriends" that were closely related to me and we got along so well...it was such a relief to have friends that u could talk to about anything and not feel like i was being judged or looked at differently...until recently some of my friendships are taking a turn some for the better and some for the worst and i am speechless.....in most cases i have no problem with admitting that im wrong and humbling myself but....honestly i dont feel like i did anything to be ignored so im not gonna stress.....
we all as normal human beings go through that stage of uncertainty..not knowing were we wanna be in life and feeling like the world is on our shoulders..but thats why we have been giving people in our life to help us through those situations...every friendship is not a breeze in the park ..and yes there will be disagreements but.. if we cant be mature and talk instead of ignoring and holding in our feelings the friendship wont go anywere......
i've finally realized that my personality and my ways of thinking are totally different then everybody else's so there are still things that i need to get used to..but this is not one of those things...if it is that time for u to move on and find other people then u do so and i hope u find what ur looking for...if we never even talk again it wont be any anger cuz i know god made us friends for as long as we were for a reason.....we were meant to learn something from each other and grow and flourish from it...EVENTS
I am at the stage of my life where i want to discover the world. Ive been to many places. Im a college grad now. About to start working on my MAsters :) i want a ph.d. Everyone looks at me as a black man they will never get it and its so depressing that people look at you like that. I have hadd jealous people say to me that i will never make it. They where white. You would think that people would be out of that state of mind but they are not.
I really dont know what to do sometimes. I always put fourth a effort in everything i do. The world just comes at you at full force! have you ever fault this way?
TO BE CONTINUED....
Chatboard (0)